1. "Merisik" session is important because it shows that the man is serious in the relationship and he want to marry the woman. At this duration of time, he needs to meet the woman's parents to ask the permission and blessings. Since women are precious in Malay culture, the parents are responsible to make sure that their daughter is going to marry the right guy.
2. Then, the engagement ceremony is held. During this moment, both sides from the man and woman (the parents from both sides) will first meet and discuss about the wedding date and also the number of hantaran (gifts) will be given to both sides. According to Malay tradition , during this session, the man is not allowed to join the discussion because there are still boundaries between the man and the woman. At the end of the discussion, the man's mother will place the engagement ring on the woman's finger and the couple is now officially engaged. This is important in Malay's culture as this is the moment where the parents from both sides can discuss with each other about the wedding ceremony.
3. During the wedding reception, the last adat is going to be held which is "Bersanding". Bersanding is a moment of time in which the bride and the groom will be seated on the "pelamin" (stage) and the family and friends from both sides will do the blessings which is called "tepung tawar". This step is compulsory for Malays as it will ensure that the couple will receive the blessings from the people who they know and at the same time, people will know that couple is officially married.
In a nutshell, Malay wedding has so many traditions that are always mistaken as a burden. However, those traditions should be preserved as they resemble the Malay culture.
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